Margo Roth Spielgelman

I would imagine that their are very few people that would actually enjoy being lonely. I mean, I know there are many people who enjoy being alone from time to time but being alone is not the same as being lonely. Being alone means to be by yourself, that is without others around, at any particular period of time. Being lonely on the other hand doesn't necessarily mean there aren't others around, it means that you don't feel like you have anyone who you really can connect with or talk to or be friends with. If you are lonely, you don't feel like you're a part of anything even though you might be in writing.  For example, my friend was recently telling me how lonely he was feeling because his family had recently moved overseas but he had stayed behind by himself. He said he had plenty of friends and obviously went to work and uni and saw people there but he still missed the closeness and belonging of his family.

Loneliness is possibly the worst part of the human condition it is probably (in my opinion) the number one precursor to, and element of depression. If people feel that they are lonely when they are depressed then it doesn't matter how many people try and tell them otherwise, they will still be convinced of their loneliness.

I also think that a lot of the time people feel lonely when they ought not to. Or at least not take their loneliness so seriously and realise it will probably pass all things considered. It seems to me, that sometimes, people feel the need to quell their loneliness with extreme measures, it is like they are looking for some perfect solution, the perfect best friend, the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, the perfect mother/father (figure), and so on. Generally, however such perfect people don't exist and whilst someone is searching for someone to create a perfect solution to their all encompassing problem, they tend to overlook the other obvious and more accessible solutions. Like, if you do have people around you why don't you just try to enjoy their company instead of worrying that you don't have a close group of friends or a boyfriend or a girlfriend? You'll become more engaging and seem nicer which might make you feel less lonely because, let's face it, most people are exactly in the same situation as you are. Everyone wants to be liked, have friends and know people who they can trust.

Normally, I'm pretty cynical about most things, especially people, but I've learnt there's no point in getting all upset and indignant when people disappoint you because they probably will at some point, just like you will probably disappoint them sometimes. The point is to stop trying to get caught up in people's mistakes and worrying what they think of you, don't categorise your friends or yourself. Someone is always going to try and tell you what you are and they might be right on some things. But who cares?  What good comes from being able to define yourself? You will never stop being yourself doesn't matter who you 'try' to be.

So be grateful if you have people who like to see you whether they be the people at school, work, at home and if you don't think you have these people take another look or failing that go talk to the weird old lady on the bus. You'll feel less lonely. Trust me.